KAOS

Champagne corks popped while Butler opened a Diet Coke for POTUS.

“Lying Media said I would never last!” POTUS exclaimed. “But after a year, I’m just getting started!”

White cake with orange frosting came in on plates. POTUS’ piece was bigger than the others. He was about to joke about how a man is measured by the size of his cake but was interrupted by Energy whining, “My liege, is there no cake for me?”

POTUS, upset his cake joke ruined, turned on Energy, “At the last Cabinet photo opp, you didn’t say anything nice about me.”

“My liege, forgive me, but you sent me to Antarctica 11 months ago in search of solar energy deposits. I returned three hours ago.” Energy shook uncontrollably.

POTUS looked at Chief-of-Staff who nodded. POTUS pushed the button on his desk and Butler appeared. “A piece of cake for Energy and another Coke for me.”

Butler turned to go.

“A half slice.”

Energy bowed in gratitude. The room buzzed about the Solomonic wisdom of POTUS.

POTUS raised his hand; all celebrants hushed.

POTUS removed his M.A.G.A. hat from his head and pointed to the initials. “Less than two years ago, I wanted to Make America Great Again, and after the best first year in office of anyone who has ever been President–and I’m including the heavyweights: Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Nixon–it’s so clear to everybody that America is great again!”

A furious applause erupted.

“From the biggest inauguration (over twice the size of my predecessor); to being the only world leader to understand the Climate Hoax; to telling the truth about Lying Media; to appointing the fairest and most conservative justice the Supreme Court has ever had; to getting rid of corrupt National Monuments, to bringing back coal, to tax reliefing the poor and middle class…”

Treasury sniggered.

“…to having the guts to be the only world leader to stand up to Korea Fat Boy; to giving every American the option to buy health care…”

“And allowing corporations to follow their religious consciousness by giving them the freedom to not provide birth control,” added VP.

“…to bringing the brink of peace to the Middle East (Son-In-Law has helped on this one); and to the Wall of America which I am building right now and even though they say they aren’t, Mexico is paying for every peso of it.  Because of these and all of my many, many other accomplishments due to my genius, I no longer need to Make America Great Again because America is now not only great but amazing!”

Hoots, huzzahs, and fist pumps filled the Oval Office.

POTUS touched his right nostril with his index finger; HUD rushed over to hand him a silk handkerchief; POTUS loudly cleared his nose and returned the handkerchief; HUD folded and carefully placed it back into his breast pocket.

POTUS held out the M.A.G.A. hat, and Chief-of-Staff swapped it with a different red hat. This one had orange flames on the side. Stitched on the front was K.A.O.S.

“Since America is Great Again, it is time to dedicate my presidency to…Keep America Overpoweringly Strong. KAOS.”

POTUS lifted his Coke. “Gentlemen…”

Daughter coughed into her hand.

“And girls…” POTUS added.

Education timidly raised her hand. “My Lord, may I approach.”

“Approach.”

Education felt the hard stares of 19 men and two girls on her. She felt as if an army of mercenaries was launching an assault in her stomach, yet she had to testify for Truth. “If it so please My Lord, may I raise a concern? ‘Kaos’ is a word that means disorder and confusion. If KAOS is stitched on hats, Lying Media may take issue and sick Democrats might use it against us. Perhaps…” Education finished in a cringing, questioning whisper, “…a different acronym?”

POTUS’ orange-tinged skin deepened into crimson. Smoke emanated from his right ear, pus from his left. Surgeon General quickly appeared on his side with a pill vial in one hand and a defibrillator in the other.

Defense spoke. “Education, the word you’re thinking of is spelled c…h…a…o…s. POTUS’ word is k…a…o…s.”

“Oh,” said Education.

Defense continued. “By spelling it this way, he is making an overpoweringly ironic statement.”

“Of course. I understand. I get irony.” Education bowed. “Forgive my stupidity, My Lord.”

“Forgiven,” and POTUS made the sign of the “T” over the prostrate Education.

Attorney General trumpeted, “Let us raise our glasses to the glorious crusade of POTUS’ second year: Keep America Overpoweringly Strong!”

“Wait!” POTUS frantically pressed the buzzer, and Butler appeared with a third Coke.

POTUS raised his can. “To a year of KAOS!”

“To KAOS!” the nation’s most powerful men and girls replied.

Butler fainted.

 

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