Presidential Tweets – 2nd 100 Days

May 1 7:50 AM

Best 1st 100 days of all time starting with biggest inaug ever! Beyonce, extremely hot anthem. God, double rainbow was AWESOME!

May 21 9:35 AM

America winning again! 50 million new jobs. Stock market highest EVER! Trump Organization greatly enlarged (so they tell me).
May 24 10:23 AM

Health care on! Met with Dems to iron out tiny differences. 2nd Amend people need to “visit” Failed Freedom Caucus

May 25 11:21 AM

Thin skin Enemy of People (MEDIA) zero sense of humor.  Last tweet total joke. Hold a media roast & learn 2laugh at self like I can.

May 30 12:02 PM

How many times do I tweet nyet re: Putin’s interference in my LANDSLIDE victory before Enemy and Haters believe FACTS?


May 30 12:09 PM

Haters in California used microwave technology to fake votes. I beat Crooked Hillary by 16 (some say 26) million votes.


June 7 4:21 PM

Enemy of People comparing me to Nixon! Unfair!  POTUS patience is over. Made list of all my Enemies in media, Hollywood, and at UN.


June 10 10:23 AM

Syrian “incursion” NOT a war! Incursion is a very small raid to rescue innocent children! #Childrenscrusade.


June 13 2:15 AM

Congrats from ISIS re: “incursion” does not mean I’m their friend! Enemy of my enemy is my ENEMY! Haters, learn history! Enroll@TrumpU


June 14 2:29 PM

Called Vlad re: bomb in Damascus that colateralled his soldiers. Told him we’ll ease sanctions he and Flynn talked about last August.


June 17 7:32 PM

Great news! Ivanka’s new clothing line is awesome. First Lady looks HOT in the lingerie (as does First Daughter). #boycottnordstrom

July 4 2:20 PM

Wacko Freedom Caucus, stop holding up my tax cuts.  We can’t be great again with you terrible people.

July 5 4:40 AM

2nd Amenders, this is no joke. Biggest Swamp Rat of Freedom Caucus is Mark Meadows, his office: 1024 Longworth HOB.

July 5 4:41 AM

Pay visit to Pretty Boy Ryan too. Spends more time on his abs than on legislation. Worthless. And an ugly wife. Really unattractive.

July 10 2:46 PM

Kim “Tiny Dong” Jong-Un, you better not launch another missile test like the one yesterday. @I’mnotkidding

July 12 3:32 AM

“Tiny Dong” I warned you. One more pathetic missile test like this morning’s, and I’m going to vaporize your fat ass.@I’msonotkidding

3:33 AM

Try me you so-called “leader” with very tiny hands.

July 28 4:32 PM

Tape showing me and Putin fixing election is fake news. Never happened. Hair of fake “Donald Trump” terrible! Looks nothing like me.


July 29 8:48 AM

Ryan, don’t even think of starting an impeachment. I’ll destroy you and all the other dumb lightweights in Congress.


2:38 PM

Speaker Ryan, disregard last tweet. Let’s meet. You don’t really want to subpoena me, right?


4:30 PM

Paul, just want you to know that I’m your biggest fan. I’ve got your awesome health plan on my desk. I’ll call it Ryancare or whatever you want.


11:39 PM

They can’t impeach me! I’m Donald J. Trump! I’m the greatest man the world has every had!
July 30 3:20 AM

Enemy of the People, you’re the one unhinged!  I got all my wits. i.e. Do you know the “football” code? No? Well I do:  4Q2TinyDong


3:22 AM

I can launch the menage a trois of our nuclear arsenal just by opening the football like this, and typing in 4Q2…

3:22 AM

Help! Ivanka and Jared are coming for football and Precious, my gold-plated Samsung Galaxy G8!!!

3:45 AM

Okay.  Safe here in the Presidential toilet.  To tell the truth, compared to The Throne Room at Mar, not impressive. Sad.


3:51 AM

If you impeach me, I’ll throw the football.
3:53 AM

My inauguration was bigger and better than both of Obama’s combined.  Beyonce sang the national anthem with Elvis and Janis.
3:53 AM

Barack Obama was born in Kenya and tutored by Osama bin Laden. Osama & Obama Siamese twins separated by Dr. Carson at birth.


3:53 AM
Global Warming fake news cooked up by China, Jerry Brown, and Bruce Springsteen!


3:53 AM

Build the Wall then line up the 11 million illegal rapists and terrorists from Mexico and 2nd Amendment them!!


3:54 AM

My Apprentice ratings much, much higher than Arnold’s! If he says different, take him to the Wall.


3:54 AM

Ted Cruz was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.


3:54 AM

I am not a crook! Look at my tax returns.


3:54 AM

I did not have relations with those women! They begged me to grab their pussies.


3:54 AM

I could walk down Fifth Ave and nuke Syria, North Korea, and one of those stan countries, and people will still love me!


3:55 AM

It’s morning in America because I’ve Made America Great Again, so how can you impeach me??? #notleavingtoilet


3:58 AM

Help, somebody, please. I want to go home and play golf. That’s all. #stillhinged


4:00 AM

Melania? Ivanka? Anyone?


4:01 AM








3 thoughts on “Presidential Tweets – 2nd 100 Days

  1. I’m with you Mattio. At first I said he’d be gone by the mid-terms. Then all my bets were on January 1st.
    Then July 4th felt like it was more like it. It’s just inconceivable that we won’t rise up (including McCain and friends) before long. We’re gonna need the kids. They aren’t out there yet.The marches have been big AARP shnoozers so far. #cantwaittotakeoffthegloves #howmucharewebettingonthis?!? #ITMFA!!!


  2. Matt, thanks for providing me with a good laugh today. I needed it. As of tomorrow, 100 days too many. The really frightening thing is that YOUR version of his tweets are not far from his reality.


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